It was our matriculation ceremony today, which involved wearing full robes and mortarboards and turning up at the Sheldonian theatre to hear a speech given by the vice-chancellor of the uni. It means we are now officially members of the university!

But I'm really not feeling like celebrating, because from 11 this morning I've had a glass of wine in a really nice tavern where we went after the ceremony, and then we decided to take a walk around the Christchurch meadows (pictures of all these things up soon), where I was introduced to port for the first time.

Really, really nice stuff. But I only realised after 3 full wine glasses of it how deadly it was...

My head is not thanking me now.

I think a nap is in order.

*groan* 

I'm finally packed and ready to go - we are off to Oxford today!

I've cried so much these past two days.

Will miss my family loads and loads... Bye home! See you in December!

Okay must go now - stuff is in the car. I think. I certainly hope it all fit...

It is Judgement Day tomorrow.

Results Day, in other words.

I find out my fate.

What I want, is at least 3 A's out of the four subjects that I do, because that will fix my place at Oxford. Otherwise, I'll end up at Durham. And while Durham is really good, it's not the same, is it? I really, really, REALLY want to go to Oxford, you know that.


God, please give me what I want...

9 am tomorrow I will know.

Please do pray for me, and wish me luck.

Will give full details on India trip (got back weekend before this one!), reaction to Harry Potter (spent the two days after we got back reading away!) and this weekend, that I spend in London, when I am more up for things. When I am less stressed, in fact.


For now, there is only one thing I can think about...

I will go sleep, or try to, at least. Wish me luck!


Also, happy 60 years of independence to India...we could have done a lot more with them. But more on that another time, when I am up to structuring a coherant argument.

Good night!

I am aghast. I woke up this morning, to find that my computer would not switch on. All attempts only resulted in a black screen saying, 'Windows was unable to switch on successfully' and lines of programming.

*sniff* Dad says this may be the end for poor Compy, as it was six years old, and computers are only really supposed to have a three-four year lifespan, especially if they were in as much use as this one was. He doesn't think there is much he can do. *sniff*

The one thing really worrying me is that I might lose all the VAST amounts of music, pictures, and documents stored on it. Most of the music I had backed up, along with all my important documents (coursework files, etc). But it's things like the Gimp brushes that I've painstakingly collected or created over three years, Mozilla links, random photos, important (sentimental!) messenger conversation transcripts saved over five years, that I am most upset over. My iTunes library! The songs I'd bought, I will have to buy again!

Dad says he will 'rebuild' it, as in basically put all new stuff into the CPU case (the monitor, etc, are all fine), and he'd only need to change the random memory drive, or whatever it's called, which controls the speed. The good news is that he thinks the hard disk may be completely salavageable (it doesn't come up with the message 'beginning dump of physical memory' or anything). And he says once he fixes everything else, I can copy everything from that hard disk onto an external hard disk (they can be plugged into any computer, I believe), and THEN he will update the hard disk to something with LOTS of memory. I suppose this is as good an excuse as any to update Compy, and he'd been saying for weeks that he wanted to put in new parts. I just hope I haven't lost all that data for good.

*sniff* Meanwhile, I am making full use of our new downstairs computer, which has impressed me very much. It's all shiny and widescreen (it gives out blue light!). And Compy hadn't shut down or start up in under thirty seconds for years now, with all the junk stored on it. But it doesn't have a name yet, for I have not christened it! 'Compy II' is not particularly impressive...

Good bye, Compy. You served us well.

Okay I have my last maths/Further maths module today, EVER. While this is a good thing, it is also a difficult module. Not because it's more challenging than some of the other modules I've done, but because it's physics-like, which I don't understand at all.

I'm so nervous...aaaargh! The last couple of papers I did all started going wrong.

Please, please, please let this go well.

Wish me luck!

If there are one or more people on your friends list who make your world a better place just because they exist, and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the Internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.

Thank you for everything!

And Juno -

I have the most difficult maths exam of my life tomorrow...

Maths and Further maths in total comprise of 12 modules, of which we took six in Yr 12, 2 this January, and the remaining four are now.

The stats 3 on Tuesday felt surprisingly good. I could do every single question. Let's hope I really did do them well.

Of 12 modules, 6 are pure mathematics, while 6 are applied (you can pick and choose the applieds, eg I chose 3 Stats, 2 Mechanics and 1 discrete). I have the most difficult of the pures tomorrow.

I'm terrified. Owing to changes in the module syllabus two years ago, we only had 3 complete past papers to do, compared to 12-14 each for the other modules. This module also draws on ALL the other pures, of which I did 4 last June, and one in January. Since January I haven't done much pure maths at all, as we were doing applied modules. So not only am I facing the most challenging questions of my entire maths life, I'm also not really prepared for them.


*sigh* I really am panicky. Around 50% of all questions attempted so far I couldn't complete.

And I'm soooo tired. I haven't slept properly for four days, because of the stats and now because of this, working till really late. Plus I had a panic session today which didn't help - I desperately needed the mark scheme for the two papers I was doing, which was available online, but our Internet chose this evening to break down. so I rang up a friend who lives nearby, asked her to print it off, and then ran there to get, wasting about 40 minutes in total that could have been spent otherwise. And when I got back, brother announced he'd fixed the Internet. Typical.

So I'm really not happy.

I'm going to go to sleep now, so I can wake up early and try to learn SOMETHING.

URGH.

Please do wish me luck. I shall be praying for an easy paper...and hoping that I remember what I've learnt...

*deep breaths*

Good night.

So. I turn 18 tomorrow.

Finally.

Adult at last, shall we say. Except I don't feel like one. At all. I still feel like I'm ten years old, not like I'm about to leave school in a term (*sniffle*). 

Presents? I honestly don't know what I'm getting from my parents, although I have a slight inkling it may have something to do with driving lessons, as I keep seeing BSM (British School of Motoring) booklets lying around. Plus it is a bit depressing that in spite of technically being allowed to learn to drive from the age of 17, I have not had a single driving lesson yet. Yes, really. So I'm kinda hoping I get driving lessons.

I know my brother is getting me some Jack Sparrow stuff (YAY!), but that's about all I know!

We shall see tomorrow. Aunty is making my favourite stuff in the evening, so hopefully it will be a nice day! As for a party, that is on Friday. My friends are all coming over (about ten of them) in the evening - wait for it - dressed up as film characters. Don't laugh! I know it's a bit silly to have a 'dress-up' party for your 18th, but I thought it would be fun. Plus this way I get to spend my birthday with my close friends, and don't have to invite fifty-odd people as you would for a 'formal' party. AND they're all sleeping over! Should be fun. I'm going to be Cleopatra. Really. Advantage - it doesn't require a wig, owing to my natural hair colour. Disadvantage - I have the challenge of trying to look like Elizabeth Taylor. Will let you know how it goes!

I want to write so much more, a full account of the past few weeks, but I'm just soooo tired. Slept late last night, doing homework. Went shopping today with mum in the evening for groceries for party, then sat and did homework. And I have to do yet more work. Is extremely tiring.

I had a great weekend - cousin came over with her husband (it's their one-month wedding anniversary today!) to celebrate Holi with us, stayed all weekend, we had a lovely time together. But I will say more on that in a couple of days. Hopefully tomorrow.

For now, I must head off and do a little more work, before I go to sleep. I can't believe it's another birthday tomorrow...it doesn't seem like very long since the last one...

I have TWO big modules today. The two largest and hardest. Not mocks, the actual modules - Chemistry Unit 4, and Pure maths unit 4. Am terrified. With regards to chem, it is because nothing seems to be going into my head - we had a mock last week in which I got a B, but I was not fazed because I hadn't done much revision (concentrating on previous week's mechanics and english modules over holidays), and a B after 2 hrs revision is actually quite good. But then in spite of spending ALL weekend revising, the paper I did last night, timed, I still got a B - and an even LOWER B than in the mock. Has me completely panicking. Why can't I answer anything right? 

The maths module was better in the mock - okay A, with even less revision, but now I am worried because I've spent 95% of my time revising for Chemistry, and haven't done enough for maths.

Chemistry morning, maths afternoon. I am TERRIFIED. I NEED to get As, you know that. Our school allows ONE resit per module (most schools allow up to 3 in needed), so I could theoritically redo these modules in June if I do badly today. But the more I have to revise old modules in June, the less time I have to revise the new modules, so I'd really rather just get As in the modules this time round.

ARGH. I'm so scared...I wish things would stay in my head, I really do.

Wish me luck. Am going to need it. Will give disaster report when I get back tonight.

Mechanics was okay...not as bad as I'd thought, but not brilliant, either.

English module today afternoon...have a ton of material still to go over - I focused so much on the mechanics that I didn't have time to do a lot of English.

Anyway, wish me luck!

Exam today!

Not a mock, an actual EXAM. Mechanics - one of my maths modules. I don't like it. Is like physics, and you know how much I hated physics.

Am terrified.

I need to do well, you know why.

Wish me luck!

ARGH!

I GOT AN OFFER FROM OXFORD !!!!!!!
Yes, really. Really. REALLY!

From Merton, the college I was interviewed at, and fell in love with.

OXFORD!

Obviously this is only a conditional offer. I still have to do the work to GET the grades. Offer is three As. I've been predicted all (4.5) As, so hopefully AAA won't be a struggle, only the normal amount of hard work.

OXFORD!

OXFORD!

( Cut for MAJOR Lost season 2 spoilers...non-Americans beware... )

Back to real life. You know who else I hate (apart from a certain someone on Lost)? PARENTS WHO LET THEIR KIDS RUN AROUND UNCONTROLLED!

DAMMIT, people! IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK THAT YOU KEEP YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOU AT ALL TIMES???

The reason I am annoyed is that I spent MOST of work today TIDYING UP the bags, pencil cases and stationary. ONE little island, consisting of TWO aisles, or FOUR walls of shelves. AND YET I END UP HAVING TO TIDY IT FOUR TIMES IN A SIX-HOUR SHIFT???

The reason? Schools begin on Wednesday-Thursday all over the country, and parents are coming in every remaining day to buy back-to-school things.

Normally, I really, really like babies and toddlers. But 6-7 year olds running around the place going, "Mummy, can I have this pleeeease? And this and this and this?" is SOOOO annoying. Trust me. And then their parents of course say no, and tell them to "Go put them back, dear." But OF COURSE, little kids don't have the patience to do that, so they dump their handful on the nearest available shelf.

ARGH. And the little girls are actually worse than the little boys. The little boys, when picking pencil cases, will stick to the 'non-girly' side. But the girls. *sigh* WHY CAN'T YOU STAY IN THE PINK-AND-FLUFFY SECTION, FOR GOODNESS SAKE??? Do you NEED to mess up the boys' side AS WELL???

Ignore me, I'm just very annoyed. Spending so long tidying up a section beautifully, only to have the next little kid that comes along mess it up so easily, so that I have to do it all again, REALLY grates on the nerves after a while.

Okay, nicer things - meme. Stolen from leany75's journal. I thought this one looked good.

I think it is inevitable that as we read each other's journals we create mental pictures of each other. Post this on your own journal to find out who your friends see when they read about your life.

Two Rules:
1) The person must be in the movies or on TV (but doesn't have to be an actor/actress). The person can be specific to a role (e.g. Jennifer Elhe's Elizabeth Bennent) or just the person themself.
2) You have to post a link to a picture of said person in the comments.

These castings can be based on things in the person's personality or on physical traits you know they have.

Ignore the fact that I've posted pictures of me several times here...I'm just interested to see what you guys will come up with!

Okay bed time now...nighty night!

Okay, we're off! Taxi for airport will be here in a few minutes, and then...hurray! Switzerland!

I hope we have a good time, and return safely.

See you Sunday night!

Okay, this is it.

Results day tomorrow. More like Judgement Day. Mum, brother and me are all going to school around ten, because brother can't be left at home alone. But I have struck a deal with them - like what mum did last year, they can stay outside in the car, and I will ring them once I get my results, and then they can come in. I know it may sound mean, but I want to be prepared to have a few minutes alone in case things...don't go as I want them.

I need all As!

And if I don't get those four As, I may as well say goodbye to doing law, as most GOOD unis won't even LOOK at a law application that doesn't come with at least 3 As.

Four As, please God?

I'm a bag of nerves... Mum has told me to calm down, brother has told me to calm down, because "You always worry for no reason." Hmpf. I DO NOT! Well, maybe I do a little bit. But I can't help it!

I came out of that Statistics paper KNOWING that a couple of LARGE questions went wrong! And in one of the Further Maths modules! And don't even START on the English...I have NO idea how that went.

Oh God.

Please wish me luck, you have no idea just how important it is for me to make those grades...

GAH!

Well, we're off to Scotland tomorrow. Or as it's past midnight, today. Parents, grandparents, brother and me. Aunty didn't want to come because she wants to stay at home and rest.

We SHOULD have been going for a week. But it had to be reduced because my grandma doesn't eat ANYTHING not made at home, and the most you can really take along food for is 1-2 days. We also have biscuits and things, which she doesn't mind, oddly enough. SO. We're only going for THREE DAYS. TWO nights, THREE days. That's it. Ah well. At least it's something. Dad has, to make it up to me, promised to take us all on day trips to Durham (to see the city - I want to apply to uni there!), and Warwick Castle (also taking a detour through the city - I want to apply there, too). And I think mum's taking us shopping to Manchester this Sunday, so it's not THAT bad.

As for the Europe thing. Well. Originally, we were going for ten days. BUT. Dad has a big interview thing around that week which he cannot miss. It is in his current hospital, nowhere else, but it will make him one step away from consultant, which is the top post. He has more than enough experience to be consultant, but trouble is that you can only have a fixed number of consultants at any one time, and the current ones won't be retiring for a few years. And the hospital knows that if they can't promote dad, he will happily leave to somewhere else, even if it is further away. So, rumour has it that this 'opening' that they are interviewing for was created especially for him. But rules say that they have to advertise just like they would for all the other posts, so they have done so, but he is supposed to be a 'dead cert' for the job. I know it's hardly fair on all the other poor souls who will turn up for the interview, but I also know that hospitals do this all the time, and dad has been on the other end of this many times, so I'm not complaining. It's time dad got the recognition he deserves. He's one of the best surgeons they have, and if they have to create a special post for him, then it's only right. Let's hope this rumour is actual fact. Even though that is what everyone is saying, I won't celebrate until he actually tells us that he got the post.

BUT. Downside of this is that he has to go for the interview, and he won't be given a fixed day until about a week before. So he said that can we possibly cut the trip short to 5 days? That way he could be back by Thursday, which, along with Friday, is USUALLY the day on which the hospital interviews. I reluctantly agreed, even though it meant only spending time in Paris, nowhere else.

Now, three weeks from departure, we have come up against another snag. I had drawn up a detailed plan more than two weeks ago and given it to him. He looked at it, liked it, but as he was on nights and then sorting out the Scotland trip stuff, he only started looking at Paris hotel bookings and paperwork in the past couple of days. And realised that a Schengen visa, which we will need to go to France, needs at least two weeks to get processed, and it would take him at least 4-5 days to get together all the paperwork that he needs to send off with the visa application. Put it all together, and you will realise that there is know way we could get the visas sorted out by the 20th of August. *sigh* He apologised profusely for not looking up visa stuff earlier. I can't really blame him, because I know he's been on nights, so it's hardly his fault that he didn't have time.

But basically, at the end of the day, we can't go to France at this short notice. Or Germany, or Belgium, or Italy, or Greece, or Spain. We can't go to any of the Schengen countries, because of the visa stuff. The only place we CAN go, is Switzerland, because the visa that allows us to stay in Britain also exempts us, miraculously, from applying for a visa for Switzerland (it isn't a Schengen country). Actually, parents quite like that thought, because that was where they originally wanted to go this summer. I don't mind, because it is very pretty, and there is stuff to do in Geneva and Zurich, and you can get around everywhere by train so dad won't have to drive. Brother is sulky because he wanted desperately to go to Disneyland, but dad has very solemnly promised to take us to Paris and/or Germany this half term (October third week), so that placated him.

I am disappointed, yes, but going to Switzerland is better than just sitting at home. And paperwork can't be helped...

We'll think more about that later. For now, we're off to Scotland in the morning! Dad has hired a 7-seater car, since both parents' cars are normal-sized, and there are six of us, and mum refuses to drive all the way up to Edinburgh, so we couldn't all fit in one of their cars. Therefore, dad is picking up a Vauxhall Zafira from the rental place just before nine tomorrow, and then we're off!

I hope we have lots of fun.

Now it is past one in the morning, and I need to get to sleep. I will report back on Saturday. Bye!